Things to do on a friday night when you’re broke, alone and have no plans.

Yep, it’s gonna happen. Soon, you’ll have to lie when people asked you what you did this weekend because you’re lowkey still tryna impress them. Also, making friends is hard when ya need to balance it out with that 8-5 job and you’ve only ever committed yourself to binge-watching Netflix.

  • Throw out all the clothes from your closet onto your bed with the intention of reorganising your closet.
  • Get tired halfway through because it’s a fucking magical neverending heap of clothes.
  • Ignore pile on bed. Make a lil space to lie down between clothes.
  • Watch netflix
  • Drink a glass of sherry by yourself.
  • Watch netflix slightly tipsy.
  • Paint on old newspaper because you can’t find any paper.
  • Watch videos on how to make origami.
  • Make an origami box.
  • Make an origami crane.
  • Put origami crane in origami box.
  • Make an overly sexual Snapchat video of yourself trying too hard.
  • Watch it and delete it.
  • Stalk strangers on Instagram.
  • Think about colouring your hair or getting an edgy haircut.
  • Look at stomach in mirror.
  • Text Mom
  • Mom replies that shes busy – she’s hanging out with friends and it’s friday night; get a life
  • Go through every single facebook message you ever sent
  • Think of sassy replies and wonder why the hell younger you didn’t have more balls.
  • Listen to music.
  • Find a song with lyrics that relate so you force some #feels
  • Write a blogpost.
  • Never spell check anything again cause GURL look at dis blogpost.
  • Find actual alive cricket’s in your room.
  • Shoo them out with phone flashlight, deoderant and lost of panicky squeels.
  • Accept defeat
  • Sleep.
  • Wake up and see friends still having fun without you
  • go back to sleep

The eeeeeend.

kewls.

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The Art of Getting Over Someone:

“A step by step tutorial on how to make yourself forget you were in love”

*disclaimer; this has never worked.

Step 1: Avoid reality: Turn off your phone/Leave it somewhere hard to find/Leave it at home when you go out drinking.

Step 2: Do lots of cool shit – Alone or with other friends. Distraction is key.

Step 3: Instagram photos of yourself looking fly af. Also, don’t like their photos. #petty.

Step 4: Sit alone with your thoughts and think about when you were together.

Step 5: Continue relationship in memories, thoughts and dreams.

Step 6: Consider going vegan, cutting your hair or moving to Thailand to teach English just for the aesthetics.

Step 7: Overeat and binge watch series instead.

Step 8: Message them anyway.

Step 9: Wait for a reply.

Step 10: Re-read every text message you ever sent each other.

Step 11: Angrily clear chat history. – Regret it immediately.

Step 12: Convince yourself that you never really liked them anyway.

Step 13: Realise you did.

Step 14: Be sad.

Step 15: Embrace the small things around you that make you happy. Focus on that.

Step 16: Stop talking about them for a bit.

Step 17: Live in denial that they ever existed.

Step 18: Stop thinking about them at night when you can’t sleep.

Step 19: Wait until you fall for someone else. (This might take very long).

Step 20:Repeat cycle.