What’s important and what’s not

 

Recently, I’ve been faced with a sneaky little curveball that life decided to throw my way. Now, I’ve never been particularly good at sports. Also, I don’t understand how I ever was expected to run, look at a ball, wear my glasses, not throw up, stop myself from crying and go through the intense rollercoaster of puberty at the same time – so sporting was hard, to say the least. Anyway, that being said – le curveball came, and it hit me straight in the gut.

Le curveball came in the shape of someone smashing my car window and stealing my handbag with a bunch of things that are just generally needed in order to be a functioning adult. (Also pls. I am aware that leaving said handbag in car was not the smartest thing in the world, but if it helps – I learnt my lesson so meh). In summary, it wasn’t nice, it was raining and I felt pretty fucking scared (as opposed to my general cool self?)

Anyway, long story short: here are some unimportant things I’ve learnt:

What doesn’t matter:

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  • The entire world is on a tea break on Jan 1st
  • Reciting childhood memories to the bank is not enough proof without your passport, ID or drivers licence.
  • If anything bad happens on NYE, people’s first question will definitely include asking you how much you had to drink
  • Home affairs is closed on Saturdays which is an actual ball-ache.
  • Sending messages to your stolen phone saying ‘baby pls come back’ or ‘where the fuck are you’ does not help.
  • Forcing yourself not to cry is dumb and will result in you getting weird anxiety-related nausea.
  • Policemen won’t laugh if you say ‘’Guess I’ve started 2018 on expert level – I’m moving up. lol” and aren’t keen on small talk even if you explain to them that you use humour as a crutch in stressful situations. Okay.

So, after giving myself a day of throwing a lil pity-party, I put on my most gangsta tunes and reminded myself of the more important things that I’m still busy learning:

What matters:

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  • Spending time with people you love.

NYE was one of the best nights. I was lucky enough to experience the ocean, bonfires, the beach, fireworks and my favourite people. There is so much love surrounding me and that’s what should make you happy – nothing more, nothing less.

  • I am incredibly privileged.

Things are just things. It’s the value we put to it that messes with our brains. Everything that was stolen – is replaceable. What isn’t is the people around you. No one got hurt, everyone is healthy and breathing and around – that makes me the luckiest gal in the world.

  • Be in the moment

For some reason, what really got to me was the loss of all my photos, videos and general sentimental things. Including the actual handbag that was passed on to me by my great gran. This being said; losing these things won’t make passed experiences less valid. Although it’s nice to have – you don’t need to cling on to it. Focus on what is happening at the moment. Try your best to record it in your mind. I know it’s easier said than done, but I promise that having faith that things will work out and truly trying to be present feels like the biggest weight off my shoulders.

  • People are so friggen lovely

In a futile attempt to continue with the nifty sports metaphor – let’s just say my team took a hit. And by ‘team’ I mean me. Because let’s face it – as soon as something shitty happens, you convince yourself that you’re in it all by yourself because no one else is affected by it – wrong. The people around you care and love you, even strangers, feel losses with you. We’re all on the same team and we help each other. I am in awe of how many people dropped everything they were doing just to help out where they could. That they’re still helping. It makes my heart so happy to know that there are kind, generous, helpful and loving people in my life and that I can be the same to others.

  • It’s all good, baby, baby.

There are so many more important things in life than a temporary shitty situation. 2018 is all about focusing on the positive. There are really good things coming (I can feel it in my bones) and there are so many things to be grateful for. There are also so many people who are going through a much shittier time than I am. Usually, I hate saying this, because everything is relevant to your surroundings and extremely subjective. I’m not going to play hierarchy with the shitstorms of the world, but I am trying to remind myself of how much there is to be thankful for.

 

Anyway, that’s all lil nuggets.

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A Step by Step Guide on Hitting Rock Bottom.

Guess what folks, everyone kinda feels like they don’t have any idea what they’re doing. In recent times of melodrama and existential crisis’s, I have decided to channel my inner Hannah Horvath from ‘Girls’.

A Total Fuck up (1)

I hear her unstable voice in the back of mind saying “I have work, then a dinner thing and then I am busy trying to figure out who I am”.

So – in an attempt to not sound like I am a mess of bad excuses here is a foolproof  guide to feeling a little bit better about where you’re at in life.

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D(r)aft Glory

“Authenticity” – That’s a word I like to through around ever so casually. Especially when it comes to writing. I frequently catch myself saying things like “unapologetic, raw, honest”. They roll off my tongue like the lyrics to my favorite song. Easy and well rehearsed.

Yet when asked about my blog, when writing, when socializing, even when getting dressed in the morning, I constantly find myself floating around in the metaphorical “draft” section of life. Just waiting, checking, rewriting, tip-toeing around my flaws until we see ourselves fit for publishing, influenced by our surroundings and the idea of how we think others perceive us.

Proofreading and editing ourselves to make sure we don’t sound too sad, that we don’t act too clingy, that we aren’t talking too much or too little. That we aren’t wearing too much or not enough. That we share too much or we’re too closed off. Ricocheting between what if’s and could have’s and maybes and maybe not’s.

So – Note to self and anyone else who has been keeping up with my incoherent trains of thought and ramblings. Post the drafts. Whatever your draft entails. Cause lately it has been far more terrifying trying to avoid error.

Things aren’t always good, things aren’t always bad either, but I know it’s a whole lot easier when you stop constantly wondering if what you do or say or think or write is good enough. Life is too short to wait until things are neatly typed out and polished, because I don’t think it ever will be. Instead, it’s a dozen papers lying around with a hundred thoughts, ideas, coffee stains and different colors from all the different pens that decide to run out of ink mid sentence.

And if we fuck up – that’s okay. Make mistakes. Let people question what you say. Learn from your mistakes, make them a few more times and listen when people tell you what’s on their minds. Tell them what’s on yours. Change your mind, change your plans and talk about things you don’t understand. I promise you aren’t the only one that doesn’t know exactly what they want or exactly what they are doing, but at least you’re doing something.

The Art of Getting Over Someone:

“A step by step tutorial on how to make yourself forget you were in love”

*disclaimer; this has never worked.

Step 1: Avoid reality: Turn off your phone/Leave it somewhere hard to find/Leave it at home when you go out drinking.

Step 2: Do lots of cool shit – Alone or with other friends. Distraction is key.

Step 3: Instagram photos of yourself looking fly af. Also, don’t like their photos. #petty.

Step 4: Sit alone with your thoughts and think about when you were together.

Step 5: Continue relationship in memories, thoughts and dreams.

Step 6: Consider going vegan, cutting your hair or moving to Thailand to teach English just for the aesthetics.

Step 7: Overeat and binge watch series instead.

Step 8: Message them anyway.

Step 9: Wait for a reply.

Step 10: Re-read every text message you ever sent each other.

Step 11: Angrily clear chat history. – Regret it immediately.

Step 12: Convince yourself that you never really liked them anyway.

Step 13: Realise you did.

Step 14: Be sad.

Step 15: Embrace the small things around you that make you happy. Focus on that.

Step 16: Stop talking about them for a bit.

Step 17: Live in denial that they ever existed.

Step 18: Stop thinking about them at night when you can’t sleep.

Step 19: Wait until you fall for someone else. (This might take very long).

Step 20:Repeat cycle.