Plot Twist. I graduated and my time in University has come to an end. I’ve traded sleeping in, skipping classes and late nights out, for early mornings, a solid job and late nights staring at my new bedroom ceiling – contemplating how to make friends in a new city.
I’m not quite sure how I ended up with a job – but somehow I did. A great one. Now, I am forced to reshape the image I had in my mind about how I was inevitably fated to work in coffee shops, play gigs for extra beer money or sell second-hand clothes to close friends or family for the rest of my life. Anyway, the point is: I landed a pretty sweet deal and now I’m a working gal with working thangs (and I’m kinda freaking the fuck out).
New City, New People. Suddenly, your closest friends aren’t around the block anymore. I can’t show up at my best friend’s house at 2 am demanding that she listens to my melodrama about how I don’t know what I’m doing with my life after uni.
Point is; It’s time to grow up, or at least try. This hasn’t necessarily meant that I’ve changed (I mean every time the office phone rings I basically enter some kind of spiritual state – praying someone else answers the phone before I have to). But, it has meant that I need to show up. I need to focus on doing things the best I can. I need to work (surprise). I need to be someone that people can rely on. I need to try. I need to put on some big lady pants and act like I know exactly what I’m doing.
The last one has been especially hard considering I’ve had a few odd encounters where I accidentally get teary-eyed in public and ended up blaming it on hayfever or a rogue onion in the close vicinity.
So, as predictable as it is – things get lonely. Things get scary. You are continuously defining and redefining the person you are and the person you are becoming. But – I swear you will surprise yourself again and again with how much you can handle.
Until then – I’ve been keeping score of the little things around me:
- I don’t use Google maps to find my way home or my way to work anymore.
- I spent 45 minutes looking for my car in the parking lot – but when I found it, the car guard and I had a genuine laughing/bonding moment.
- The people at work don’t forget my name or call me ‘new girl’ anymore.
- Sometimes I gotta skip lunch at work because it’s stress as balls but LOL SUMMER BODY HERE I COME.
- Because I’m perpetually lonely I get to eat pizza in bed at 2am with no one judging me.
- I answered the office phone the other day.
- I am learning so friggen much.
- I have a lovely boy in my corner, cheering me on from a distance.
- I’m getting better at making lists.
That’s all for now.